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Chapter 11
"Before you go," said Amelia-Rose, "you must tell me ... I know that you split up from Debra. We used to be quite close - do you know how she is?"
For the second time, John was lost for words.
"She's very happy! Don't you know? Surely you know? She's living with Gerard. They've got this huge thing together. Apparently, it's been going on for years. Even I was too blind to see ... and for so long ..."
Suddenly Amelia-Rose felt too shocked for tears. Her eyes widened with horror.
"No! I didn't know ... I thought he'd found someone much younger... I assumed... It doesn't matter... In fact, it doesn't matter at all now ..."
She caught hold of John's hand, now suddenly afraid he would go and pulled him towards the stairs. Her face was determined. He nodded as he understood, reached one arm around her waist, closed the front door and together they walked up the stairs.
At the top, Amelia-Rose turned to him and kissed him on the lips.
"Somehow, suddenly this no longer feels like something new," she said. "They've had their fun and now it's time for us to get on with our lives ..."
As they entered the bedroom, John ducked to avoid banging his head on the low beam. He nodded, admiring the neatness and prettiness of the long room that ran from front to back of the cottage. It was sparsely furnished with a dressing table in the corner by the front window and a cane chair in the corner at the back. In the middle of the room was a large double bed covered with a duvet of pastels and pinks. The curtains were delicate chintz and held back with thick blue rope ties. It was unfussy but softly feminine.
They walked together to the nearside of the bed and John reached down and pulled back the duvet to reveal the pink pillows and sheets below. To Amelia-Rose, it was as if she was on a conveyor belt set to top speed. Only seconds seemed to separate her decision at the front door to allow him to stay and the stark reality of those naked sheets.
The conveyor belt continued running fast as John deftly removed her clothing. Distantly and ironically, she remembered how long she had spent getting dressed. Now her clothes fell in a heap on the cane chair and the air felt cold on her skin. John got undressed facing her while she stood waiting and afraid to breath and break the silence.
Then, methodically, he kissed her on the lips and lifted her onto the bed. Her eyes closed as their lips met and she kept them closed until she felt his weight.
She knew she didn't love him but somehow it didn't matter. The time had come to close the door on old relationships. John was available and he would fill the space inside her that had been empty so long.
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